Featured

Welcome to My World

Hi My name is Johannah Katz, and I’m brand new to this whole blogging world, but I’m here to share my journey with you!

Why am I here?

I feel it’s important to connect and share my story so others can feel empowered and gain confidence to be proactive and take control of their health! I believe in science, and that knowledge is power!

I want to connect with and empower women and allow them to gain confidence. I feel it’s important to share our stories. Knowledge is power!

I’m a mom of two amazing little humans! I have a 3 year old girl and an almost 1 year old boy. Life is crazy, but beautiful! We all have our “stuff” and I’m here to share mine.

Check it out and I would love to hear from you!

Big Girl Bed

Wow… I feel like my girl became a teenager overnight.

If you read my last blog post, then you know my daughter has been testing limits more than usual lately. There’s been a lot of change in the house (on top of Covid craziness) with help around the house 24/7. 

I could sense NOW was the time for this big milestone. 

My plan was to keep her in her crib as long as possible. I knew 3 1/2 was probably the longest I would make it. She is now just over 3 years old.

She was certainly ready. 

You should have seen her face LIGHT UP, like a freaking Christmas tree when she saw Daddy putting together her big girl bed. (By the way, Kudos/thank you to my Hubs for being handy enough and willing enough to do that last night!) She was so PROUD. Something in her immediately switched. I know it’s crazy to say, but it’s like she knew that being a baby is now a thing of the past. I swear, she started acting differently in the moment last night. She spoke differently. She knew she was a big girl. She was glowing…. It.was.awesome.

I have a sneaky suspicion this big girl bed is going to be something that internalizes with her and alleviates some of the angst in her right now. It sounds small, but it’s a big, and exciting change for her, and I’m just so proud of my girl!

I can still see her big eyes and her huge smile.

In a few days I will have clearance to start lifting my 22 lb One year old, Max. Ilana is much heavier, and this way I won’t have to worry about lifting her at all until I feel comfortable. The only time I knew she NEEDED to be lifted up was in and out of her crib, so now that’s no longer a concern. Perfect timing!

I know several parents who struggle with KEEPING their child in their bed at night, and not wandering over to their rooms, so I told her she needed to stay in her bed all night or else we would have to put the crib back up, (obviously that would never happen), but I think that’s the LAST thing my BIG GIRL wants now. Especially after having stuck with it for so long.

It’s exciting, all the “firsts” that come with being a parent. 

This was a big one!

3 Year Old “Tornado of Emotions”

As many of you know, I am currently 5 1/2 weeks post op from a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. 

I have had restrictions this entire time, and unable to lift either one of my kids. 

My 3 year old girl is supremely independent. She is TOO SMART for her own good, sassy, feisty, STRONG WILLED, and testing boundaries (along with my patience).

Because I haven’t been able to do any lifting, I have had help over these last several weeks, as I am unable to pick my one year old son up at all. My husband works full time. During the week, he leaves the house even before Max wakes up, so I need help from the very start of the day getting Max out of his crib.

With these sorts of changes in environment all around her, my daughter has been acting out. More than usual.

Little background… she was always the sweetest, gentlest little thing until my son was born. Then, a switch flipped. I was warned by everyone, even my brilliant Pediatrican and my OB that she would regress because of this “life change”, but I didn’t really believe it until it happened to me. 

What a difference bringing another human life in to your family will do to your dynamic. 

Don’t get me wrong. My daughter is still my sweet, empathetic little girl, but she has MANY more moments as she had to learn to adjust to no longer being the only one. She had all the attention for the first two years of her life, which now needs to be shared. 

A year later she is adjusted, LOVES her brother, but the change in temperament remained. It changed the game. 

About 6 months after Max was born, I’d say, things drastically improved. She wasn’t lashing out in anger any more, but then almost 6 weeks ago, with the new changes in our house, we’ve regressed a little again.

I fight the urge to constantly apologize/make excuses for her behavior. Yes, it actually IS THE AGE. She IS 3, after all. But its more than that. She feels much more than people can see or understand. 

Also, this goes for all humans, not just my 3 year old. The people you are most comfortable with, get to see the worst of you. It’s kind of an honor actually, isn’t it? We become the punching bags. My friend Ashley, who is staying with us currently to help me said it best. My little Lana is a “tornado of emotions”.

I’m told I was the same way when I was Lana’s age, which most people find difficult to believe. Her tantrums do not embody who she is. My sweet little girl who just wants lots of love is the most beautiful soul. 

No one knows our kids better than we do. No one will ever be able to understand or relate to them more than a Mama. It’s our job to have the patience and willingness to learn as they go through these adjustments and seasons of life, both easy and difficult. Even when we feel like we’re alone, we’re not. 

And for the record, having kids…multiple kids especially can cause tension in a marriage. Unless you’re living a Disney fairytale (which I refuse to believe is actually the norm), kids are a catalyst for plethora of fundamental issues. And that’s OK. What’s not OK is thinking that bumps in the road and struggles are unusual. Social media is full of rainbows and butterflies, and misrepresentations of actual real life. Life is not perfect. Just like no human is perfect. Putting lots of complicated, imperfect humans all together will never be PERFECT, ALL the time.

Even when we’re embarrassed because we feel like our toddler should behave better, we know deep down toddlers have phases. Deep down we know this is normal and that we can handle it and that we know best. I certainly know that I know what’s best for both of my kids.

My child is exceptionally smart. She tests me, and lately has been testing everyone else as well. She is still my remarkable girl. 

This too shall pass. I am SO proud of both of my kids and no matter what we’ll get through this hurricane together.

Love to all the parents out there, especially during these Covid times. You’re all doing amazing…yes you!

5 Weeks Post Op

Breakthrough: I started LIGHTLY jogging again yesterday! I was so proud of myself. After a big surgery like this, a thought that can be scary is, “will I ever get back to before?” But now I can see YES I CAN…. and YES YOU CAN TOO!!

It’s a process, and it’s OK to ease in slowly. Slow and steady wins the race.

Yes, I still have another surgery that needs to get scheduled for the implant exchange from tissue expanders, and I’m sure that will set me back again, but better to get as normalized as possible sooner than later right? 

Also FINALLY this week I started feeling less pain while sleeping. It’s not comfortable, but its not awful like it was before. I don’t know if the pain will return, but at least the last few days its bearable to the point of letting me sleep through the night (albeit on my back, which kind of sucks but whatever)…

I am hopeful to have last expansion in a week, and then in a few weeks will meet with the surgeon to put my final breast surgery (God willing) on the books.

Something I have NOT been good at, is paying attention to the exercises given to me from the Dr/hospital. I really should look at those and be more diligent. It may be a little arrogant to think my body is just going to heal perfectly doing it my own way, but so far so good!

Feels great now to do my own laundry, cook my kids stuff myself and just function like a normal human being! 

I’ll never forget the people who have been so supportive during this crazy ride!

The ride still isn’t over but the worst is SO behind!

I’m not sure what to expect yet for the next surgery. I know it wont be NEARLY as bad a recovery, but I just hope the lifting restrictions aren’t too long, because THAT is the worst part, when you have little ones. ESPECIALLY a One year old who can’t walk yet and needs to be held all.freaking.day. 

My 3 year old has been so independent, but obviously Max is a different story.

Well… I’m almost done drinking my morning coffee. Thank you so much for tuning in and following my journey with me! Here I go for “SLOW jog” number two! Wish me luck!

Update:

Did my second jog and here is a little clip. Oh endorphins, I’ve missed you! Ps… it ended up not being 1.5 minutes shorter. Only 30 seconds but still a win!

Max is ONE Year Old!

Years before Max was born, we knew that when/if we had a boy, his name would be Max Joseph Katz. His first name, Max, is my FIL’s middle name, and my Dad’s name is Jose (Joseph, being the English equivalent).

I made Pinterest boards that occupied me for, well, far too much time probably, designing his nursery that would one day be a reality, and themes for birthdays, all sorts of stuff that us crazy girls do.

I knew his nursery would be “Where the Wild Things Are” themed. Max is the main character of the story and I fell in love with the idea that I could play with that theme for his nursery and his first birthday. 

Max turned one on August 22!! Another Covid birthday, but it was still so special.

My mom made her *FAMOUS* cheesecake. (I mean guys…it’s my favorite food…ever…in the WORLD). We got Max a fancy (cookies and cream) smash cupcake, got some Where the Wild Things are decorations, and of course bought Max the CUTEST little Wild Thing outfit EVER. 

I’m SO glad I bought that little outfit … oh man that crown,suspenders, bow tie, little wild one bottoms. *swoon*. That outfit was the pies de resistance.

Oh he just melts my heart. Both my kids do, of course…

Of course again the one thing that I wish were different, was my lifting restrictions, still, being unable to lift him yet, as I’m still recovering from my double mastectomy with tissue expanders. 

But very soon I’ll be able to squeeze him scoop him up and it will all be a memory.

All in all, it was perfect. 

Max’s birthday was only family. It was relaxed. It was sweet. He was loved on and celebrated, and that’s all we needed.

To make big milestones special, even kids’ birthdays, you don’t need a big group of people, or all the bells and whistles. As long as you can look back on (lots of) pictures and smile, you did good. 

Thank goodness for photos and memories.

Mamas out there, am I right?! Who out there can’t wait to lie down at the end of the day for a break only to scroll through photos of your kiddos on your phones??

Anyway… Just like that, I’m officially a Mom to two toddlers. Time flies. It’s true what they say… “the days are long but the years are short”. 

Happy Birthday to my beautiful, smart, sweet, inquisitive, little love bug, Max! 

He is going to make the World a better place. Just you wait!We all love you and are so proud of you, watching you grow every day! Thank you for making our family of four complete.

“I’ll eat you up I love you so!”

Now…

“Let the wild rumpus start…”

4 Weeks Post-Op

Well I’m 4 weeks post op and thankful that the worst is behind me.

Some new developments over the last 2 weeks:

I’ve been able to regain some activity. I’ve been going on long walks again which is nice. Especially having help watching my kiddos, I’m able to take advantage of this time to gain my strength and endurance back, allowing me to feel more like myself again. Thankful to move and gets some exercise. 

My range of motion has improved drastically over the last 2 weeks. I can raise my hands all the way up toward the sky, instead of having T-Rex arms, and unable to reach anything above shoulder height.

I can start carrying 10-20 lbs. 20 lbs sounds a little frightening to me right now though. Unfortunately my baby boy, Max (who is now ONE YEAR OLD… *Happy Birthday to my beautiful boy*) is 22 lbs so I need to wait another 2 weeks to hold him. More than anything I’m grateful for people in my life who love my kids, who show them that love and make them feel it, so that they don’t feel this sort of deficit that I was so fearful for. Can’t ask for more than that.

I was SO looking forward to my last expansion fill today at the Surgeon’s office, but unfortunately there was a misunderstanding and I was unable to fill any more without my Plastic Surgeon’s approval, and he wasn’t in today. Looks like I’ll have to wait until my next appointment with him. I’ll get there but I was just so bummed today when I was looking forward to being done with this part of the process and having my desired size! I just can’t wait to be schedule the exchange surgery. It’s going to be amazing to have my permanent boobs and not these expanders.

My appointment with my Surgeon is in a few weeks, where he will discuss the next surgery with me, and put it on the books!

Last post I mentioned that these expanders were uncomfortable, and not so much painful. Yeah… I stand corrected. They’re AWFUL when I sleep. Being vertical is generally fine, but being horizontal just plain sucks. They’re just not built for comfort, and I’m pretty sick of waking up at 1 am in pain and needing to take ibuprofen. 

Few more months. I got this! 

This ain’t no boob job, folks. This is a staged, involved process that takes you for a real ride physically, mentally and emotionally. But I’ll be done with this process soon(ish) and it’ll be so worth it in the end, for many reasons. 

I just pray my sweet babies didn’t get the BRCA2 mutation from me. They each have a 50% chance. I hope Ilana doesn’t have to go through this, but if she does have it, she will know that her Mama went through it, and understand that she has strength in her that is immeasurable and that she is capable of any and all things! Both of them are!

It’s a great day to be alive! Thankful for modern medicine, modern knowledge, family, friends who have been there, and my long walks 🙂

Love to all of you

2 Weeks Post-Op

Hey everyone! I’m currently 2.5 weeks post op. Feeling as good as can possibly be expected! I feel so lucky to have had a pretty pain free and easy recovery thus far. 

This week I have over the head arm exercises I’m supposed to do. A little nervous to use my range of motion but I’ll get there. Also starting this week I’m supposed to wear a sports bra instead of surgical bra for more compression and to avoid build-up of fluid. Putting on a sports bra is a little scary. Not only the range of motion, over the head but I’m still scared I’m going to pop something inside somewhere and be back to square one. That would be NO BUENO. I’m sure that’s mostly in my head but it’s a fear, nonetheless.  

I got my drains out at my 2 week post op appointment (Thank GOD). 15 days with those suckers was ENOUGH for me! It’s great not to be attached and have to carry around a pouch full of nasty everywhere I go anymore. The fun and exciting part about this past week’s post op appointment was my first expander fill! YAY!! During surgery, my surgeon was able to fill them each 240 cc, so at my first appointment I got another 60 cc in each. I think I will do one more small fill this coming week and then be done. Not too much more… I’ll be deciding on the amount in the next few days. Still going back and forth in my head…

I have been SO scared to shower for fear of getting an infection through the drain sites. FINALLY, today I took a REAL shower, (not just a sponge bath), for the first time since surgery. That’s a big accomplishment! Big milestone for me post-surgery!! I took this picture right after shower and putting clothes on myself…VICTORY IS MINE!!!

I still feel so blessed for everyone in my life who has been SO there for me. Childcare has been the biggest necessity and biggest hurdle, obviously. I can’t WAIT to pick my babies up again. I also can’t wait for Max (my ALMOST 1 year old) to have no memory of Mommy not lifting him.  I can’t wait to get back to the bond that we had/have. He was SUCH a Mama’s boy before this, and it just breaks me that I can’t be that person for him right now. This will pass (*she tells herself*).

My daughter has really handled this all so well. She knows she needs to be gentle with Mommy. She’s been asking me to rub her back when she lies in my lap instead, which is just the sweetest ever. Yes…No doubt, that is the hardest thing. The kids and all the complications that comes with it. Getting through the other stuff is ok, and the worst is behind me.

I also can’t wait to not feel lazy. Yesterday my MIL and I went on a walk with Max  (she pushed the stroller) around the neighborhood, so that was my first time walking outside post surgery. Today I went on a walk around the neighborhood again myself. Baby steps. 

I’m a very active person, so I’m itching to get back up to running speed, but I obviously won’t be cleared for that for a month at least.

The expanders aren’t as bad as I have heard and read. They don’t hurt. They’re not the most comfortable things in the world, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not painful. The only time I feel pain/pressure is at night trying to sleep on my back. I just moved back to the bed from the recliner that I’ve been sleeping in for two weeks, a few days ago, and I can certainly feel the pressure on my chest during the night. I know it’s normal to feel that discomfort. My chest has gone through a lot of trauma, so I can’t expect to feel nothing. Nighttime they sort of feel like rock balloons on my chest. But again, it’s all temporary. Definitely looking forward to my implant exchange in a few months. 

As a type A person, I’ve been forced to let go of some control during this time. Honestly, it’s probably a good mental exercise for me. But at least I’m surrounded by people who I trust and are making this as easy for me as I could ever ask or hope for. 

Thank you for tuning in to my journey!! I’ll be back with updates soon!!

Post-Op Recovery Tips

Most helpful tips/things during recovery

HELP WITH KIDS!!

This is obviously numero uno. Without it I would be up a creek without a paddle. My sister, Leana has been here, and will be here the first two weeks of recovery, and she has been a GODSEND!! The thing I was most concerned with was how my kids would do during recovery. She has made it pretty much seamless. She’s a star! I then have a friend coming the next 2 weeks to help with the kids and I have full faith in her as well! 

Staying ON TOP of the pain meds and GETTING AHEAD of it!

I have a chart where I document every medicine I’ve taken and what time I’ve taken it. My husband has also been a big help with keeping me on top of it and double checking everything or writing it down himself. Even during the night I set my alarm to remind myself to take my Tylenol/Ibuprofen, because if I went the whole night without, I would probably wake up in more pain than I’d like. I have no pain right now (obviously some discomfort) and I can only attribute it to the pain management, and the artistry of my incredible surgeons.

Button down pajamas

You NEED THESE! You can’t lift your arms up to get in normal shirts. I have been living in button down pajamas since surgery. I got some cute(ish), affordable button PJs on Amazon and they’ve been great! These are a must. Link below to the ones I purchased.

MEAL TRAIN!

I do not have words for how helpful this is!! My friends are the BEST. I can’t thank them enough for organizing this and the outpour of generosity and love they’ve shown us.  It’s impossible to cook and prepare food for a family when you’re recovering. My sister is busy with my kids and my husband has a VERY full-time job PLUS taking care of me and helping with the kids, so friends coming together to help with this has been just the MOST thoughtful, and helpful! TRULY beyond grateful for everyone’s generosity. It has been nice also that my parents live only 5 minutes away and can also bring over food if we need it. 

Power Recliner!

This was recommended to me prior to surgery and WOW super helpful. My Dad got one after his heart surgery, so I borrowed it for mine. HUGE HELP!! HUGE!! I have been doing all my resting/sleeping on the power recliner since the surgery and I can’t tell you how glad I am that I have it. I will probably be using it for the next few weeks. Obviously I miss my bed, and it’s not like sleeping is extremely comfortable but because of the reciner I’m able to get some hours of decent sleep and that’s all I can ask for!

DRAIN POUCH

I actually bought one myself on Amazon before I was graciously given a drain pouch by a friend of mine prior to surgery (Thank you Marissa), then given one by my plastic surgeon, so I have more than enough pouches ha!… (wish I didn’t buy one on my own…oh well). YOU NEED THIS if you are going through this surgery. I’m never NOT using this pouch Ain’t nobody got time for dangling drains. That sounds miserable. This at least makes it OK. Link below to the one I purchased, but I really have only been using the one given to me by the Dr, so before you buy, check and see if you will be given one, and save your $$.

Electric toothbrush

If you are going through a surgery that involves your chest area, moving your arms for brushing teeth may not be too fun. I bought one before my mastectomy as it was recommended in another blog I read. I find it helpful, just for peace of mind that I’m not going to damage anything by accident. Link below.

Dry Shampoo

You unfortunately can’t take a real shower for a week after this surgery (I know… it’s gross) so dry shampoo will be your friend. My sister is here and she will be helping me with that today, as I can’t lift my arms up above 90 degrees (very excited…my hair is lookin’ ROUGH)

Face Wipes

It’s going to be difficult to wash your face. I use Acure face wipes and those have worked nicely for me. And really in general I love the Acure products. Link below to the ones I have/am currently using.

Again, I’m still in awe of the support and love I’ve received…I will NEVER…EVER….EVER…forget it… Thank you to all my people who have SHOWN UP for me! Thankful for all of you who have checked up and reached out! I have some wonderful people in my life!

Love to you all out there!!

Thanks for reading!!

Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy

The big surgery has come and gone!! The anticipation was definitely the hardest part, no doubt. I had so many fears before this surgery. Mostly to do with how my kids were going to handle it. Especially my little guy. I was so scared he was going to feel a deficit of love because I’m always squeezing and hugging him. And let’s be real, there’s no replacement for a Mama’s love.

My fears truly have been put to rest. 

The surgery went so well. My Doctors were beyond incredible. From start to finish, my whole team throughout the entire process was excellent. I feel so lucky! I was expecting to be in horrible pain. My pain level is so low. I have been keeping on top of my pain meds and staying ahead of it religiously, so I’m sure that’s why. But honestly I would say I don’t even have any pain at all now, just discomfort. After what my body has been through, wow, I’m so relieved for that. 

I have 4 drains in my chest. Two on each side. Those suck, not gonna lie. My husband has been taking care of them for me (tracking the ccs morning and night, which I’m sure can’t be the most pleasant thing to do). Thanks babe :).

Im 3 days out today, and I’m truly shocked how good I feel. I need to remind myself to take it easy though, because I know there’s a lot of healing happening on the inside. 

I’m hoping to slowly phase out the ibuprofen. I was prescribed 800 mg of ibuprofen every 8 hours and 1000 mg of Tylenol every eight hours. I have knocked my 800 mg of ibuprofen down to 600 mg already so that’s a start. Today I’ll see if I can get it to 400 mg while maintaining my pain level.

I need to take a second to RAVE about my sister, Leana. Again…my biggest fear was how my kids would respond. Max particularly is 11 months old, unable to understand what’s happening, and used to mommy loving all over him… and on top of everything I’m so type A that changes in their routines give me a good deal of anxiety. Maybe I’m a little neurotic but when it comes to my kids, their routines and their schedules, we find it so important for them and all of us to follow it as closely as possible. It is key! Well my sister has put my fears aside. She loves them SO much and they feel that. She’s been amazing, truly. She’s been a STAR! It’s a FULL TIME JOB doing what she’s doing right now.

My husband is working from home right now in the immediate post op period to help take care of me as well. He helps me keep track of my meds and help me with whatever I need.

I’m BLOWN AWAY by the support from my friends and our community. WOW…Just…WOW!!! The meal train that our friend has set up has been SO helpful. Friends… THANK YOU!! Honestly…I’m not sure I have the words to described how wonderful it feels to know that Im loved and supported and that people actually want to be there. 

For my friends that have signed up for the meal train, brought us cookies, muffins, breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks, flowers…I’ll never forget it. 

For my friends who have reached out to me asking how I’m doing…THANK YOU. It means the world to me. 

OK…so back to the surgery…

I now have expanders placed in each breast, which in a few months (hopefully sooner than later) I will exchange for implants. The expanders stretch the skin and create a pocket for the implants. Apparently my skin was good, so my plastic surgeon was able to fill each expander with a decent amount of saline already. So although it currently looks like a botched boob job, at least I have some shape and didn’t wake up with nothing there. I was happy for that! These expanders are temporary and soon I’ll have awesome boobs!

I woke up to my Husband waving to me from across the room (he wasn’t allowed in the post-op area but he managed to get as close as possible for me to see him), and my Dad, who is an Infectious Disease Specialist, and an attending at the hospital I had my surgery at, was able to get in (VIP status) and see me, which made this Daddy’s girl just the MOST happy to see him when I woke.  

I woke up in some pain. I’d say maybe a 7 our of 10 level. That’s where the IV drugs come in when you’re in post op. 

That being said my pain tolerance is extremely high. I gave birth without an epidural the second time around!! If I can handle that, I can handle anything!!

That first few hours after surgery really was the only pain I felt, and since then I’ve been totally fine pain-wise. (Believe me this is a shock to me…very pleasantly surprised). Even my range of motion is MUCH better than I was told it would be, and expected it to be. 

Just goes to show, everyone’s experience  is different and if you are someone who needs to go through this, the anticipation is the worst part! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU ARE SO MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU THINK! 

My first follow up appointment is on Thursday next week. I’m hoping to get 2 of the drains out then. Pretty sure I will because my output is already significantly improving. Grateful that I had a healthy body prior to surgery. I’m healing so much faster than I expected. 

I then have weekly appointments with the plastic surgeon to do fills in each breast until I am happy with the size and choose to stop. 

The worst is over! 

Most importantly, my pathology came back NEGATIVE and TOTALLY NORMAL!! I was able to save my life before it needs saving!! Got ahead of it!! That’s everything. No regrets!! Best decision ever, and so glad to be on the other side of this first (biggest) surgery!!

Love to all of you who took the time to read this and join me in my journey! 

Few days away from surgery

Well we are 4 days away from the big surgery. I had both my pre-op and my preadmissions appointments last week, I will be getting a Covid test about two days prior to surgery (waiting on that call for scheduling), and then Wednesday will be here quickly.

I have help set up for the kiddos, as I wont be able to do any lifting for 5-6 weeks (my sister is coming into town for 2 weeks to help, and then a friend of mine will be helping the next 2 weeks). I need to figure out help for week 5 as well, and then Im HOPING I can start lifting my sweet boy (just over 20 lbs) by week 6. My parents are just down the road also to assist which is helpful.

My biggest fear through this has been and still is how my kids will handle it. Especially my little guy who is too young to understand why Mommy can’t hold him/pick him up and love on him like I usually do. He is the SWEETEST little lovebug and it breaks my heart even thinking about it now.

We opened the conversation about the surgery and recovery with my 3 year old girl, last night. Over the next few days we will continue to talk about it so that she can be as prepared as a 3 year old can be. She knows Mommy will have booboos on her boobs, and she is going to be a big helper! Such a sweet girl….

A few days ago, my friend/also brother’s girlfriend took a little photoshoot of me (sort of a boudoir shoot) to remember and honor the “pre surgery” body. To say bye-bye to the boobs that exclusively breastfed my two gorgeous kids for a collective 2 years. **Thanks for all you did, boobies…too bad you’re toxic**… It was such a wonderful gesture of her and honestly I’m glad I did it. The pictures came out tasteful and elegant (as far as boudoir shoots go). I was going to post them but I think maybe I’ll keep those for us. I plan on printing a few out for my closet upstairs! *Thank you Casey!!*

Another friend of mine put together a meal train for our family which I know is going to be a HUGE help for us. 

*Big thank you to Erin, and to ALL of you who helped put that together, shared it on Facebook and signed up…It means more to us than you know*

At first I was nervous about asking for help, but I know I won’t have clearance to cook for several weeks, and I don’t want my family to starve lol…

It does feel wonderful to be have such a beautiful support system.  People who know how big a deal it is and make me feel SEEN and HEARD like a WARRIOR. Love my people!

** To other Pre-Vivors out there…. You ARE WARRIORS… as my friend Michelle Knight (also a BOSS and Pre-Vivor) said to me… “Welcome to the world of Kicking Ass” **

I have my recovery stuff mostly set and ready. I will arrange them strategically over the next few days. Drain holders, Mastectomy robe (with drains holders), Power recliner that I borrowed from my Dad so that I can sleep in it, the whole gamut of pain meds…LORD there’re a lot of meds.

I will make sure I have food prepped for the kids for a couple days when I’ll be out of out/out of commission. 

All in all I feel prepared-ish. I am anticipating some serious nerves day before/day of surgery. Until then, I’m going to be keeping busy as all of us mommas are, and getting everything situated as best as I can.

Thank you all for tuning in!! Next up… SURGERY 7/29/20

Few days away from surgery

Well we are 4 days away from the big surgery. I had both my pre-op and my preadmissions appointments last week, I will be getting a Covid test about two days prior to surgery (waiting on that call for scheduling), and then Wednesday will be here quickly.

I have help set up for the kiddos, as I wont be able to do any lifting for 5-6 weeks (my sister is coming into town for 2 weeks to help, and then a friend of mine will be helping the next 2 weeks). I need to figure out help for week 5 as well, and then Im HOPING I can start lifting my sweet boy (just over 20 lbs) by week 6.

My biggest fear through this has been and still is how my kids will handle it. Especially my little guy who is too young to understand why Mommy can’t hold him/pick him up and love on him like I usually do. He is the SWEETEST little lovebug and it breaks my heart even thinking about it now.

We opened the conversation about the surgery and recovery with my 3 year old girl, last night. Over the next few days we will continue to talk about it so that she can be as prepared as a 3 year old can be. She knows Mommy will have booboos on her boobs, and she is going to be a big helper! Such a sweet girl….

A few days ago, my friend/also brother’s girlfriend took a little photoshoot of me (sort of a boudoir shoot) to remember and honor the “pre surgery” body. To say bye-bye to the boobs that exclusively breastfed my two gorgeous kids for a collective 2 years. **Thanks for all you did, boobies…too bad you’re toxic**… It was such a wonderful gesture of her and honestly I’m glad I did it. The pictures came out tasteful and elegant (as far as boudoir shoots go). I was going to post them but I think maybe I’ll keep those for us. I plan on printing a few out for my closet upstairs! *Thank you Casey!!*

Another friend of mine put together a meal train for our family which I know is going to be a HUGE help for us. 

*Big thank you to Erin, and to ALL of you who helped put that together, shared it on Facebook and signed up…It means more to us than you know*

At first I was nervous about asking for help, but I know I won’t have clearance to cook for several weeks, and I don’t want my family to starve lol…

It does feel wonderful to be have such a beautiful support system.  People who know how big a deal it is and make me feel SEEN and HEARD like a WARRIOR. Love my people!

** To other Pre-Vivors out there…. You ARE WARRIORS… as my friend Michelle Knight (also a BOSS and Pre-Vivor) said to me… “Welcome to the world of Kicking Ass” **

I have my recovery stuff mostly set and ready. I will arrange them strategically over the next few days. Drain holders, Mastectomy robe (with drains holders), Power recliner that I borrowed from my Dad so that I can sleep in it, the whole gamut of pain meds…LORD there’re a lot of meds.

I will make sure I have food prepped for the kids for a couple days when I’ll be out of out/out of commission. 

All in all I feel prepared-ish. I am anticipating some serious nerves day before/day of surgery. Until then, I’m going to be keeping busy as all of us mommas are, and getting everything situated as best as I can.

Thank you all for tuning in!! Next up… SURGERY 7/29/20